Asking for feedback from your advisor, boss, instructor, or peers?
We all do it sometimes. While "how to effectively give feedback" is often discussed, its impact is significantly limited if the receiver doesn’t know how to take it.
Poor feedback-taking doesn't only limit growth but is detrimental. Here are my thoughts on this topic, based on my observations of exceptional high performers I've got to work with, anecdotes from friends, and my own learning experiences.
First, how NOT to take feedback.
For simplicity, let me refer to the feedback-giver as the "boss" here. In short, my advice is:
never enter the meeting wondering if your boss "liked" your work or if you "did it right."
This mindset kills your progress.
Why?
Because during the meeting, your mind will be stuck on whether you did the work "right" or "wrong." Your mind will be too busy dealing with the emotion that comes with your mental thumbs-up-and-down-by-the-boss accounting. This hinders your ability to absorb the suggestions being given.
As a result, you not only waste the feedback, but also likely do an even poorer job next time because the suggestions didn’t fully register.
Guess what?
You may not even realize you didn't hear and digest the feedback fully. But your boss, especially engaging ones who wish you and the project to grow rapidly, will remember the advice he/she/they gave you exactly!
This leads to a vicious cycle.
Better feedback-taking: Design thinking.
Go into the meeting intentionally excited to design the next course of action with your boss.
The concept and product at hand will only be better by at least trying more improvements. Your boss and you might realized later that the 'improvements' didn't actually serve the purpose. That's OK! But how would you know the potential if you didn't even try. So, listen as if you are designing the future course of action to make the project better. Be excited and intentional about it.
When you focus on designing action steps, there’s no room for sadness, offense, or frustration. Growth is guaranteed. Those who perform best come into the feedback meeting excited and leave the meeting excited. 😊
(Featured image on the menu page: by Tim Mossholder via Unsplash)
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